Hi all,

I am now officially 4 days over-due and starting to get REALLLLLYYY cranky. Sorry there's been no pictures up of me during my pregnancy really. I might get round to putting some up after I finally pop her out, but the last few months have been so stressful that I just can't deal with staring at the PC screen while the photos load up (it always goes SO slow on here).
I'm sure I will have some nice pictures of our little family up soon enough, Jake (daddy) will take some lush ones and I will steal them to put up giving him full credit (seeing as he's the one with the photography skills and I most certainly am NOT).

xx

YES! I am currently 7 weeks pregnant and can't wait to become a mother.
I attend my first antenatal scan on August 27th (12 week scan) and fund out how far gone I am for definite and get the first glimpse of the tiny life growing inside of me. God it's all so amazing.
So keep your eyes peeled for plenty of picture of the bump, my partner Jake [link] will probably be doing the same. He's so excited, as am I.

YEY!

I don't think I write enough in these little journal snippets as perhaps preferred, or needed. Here, some proof I am alive at least. It seems my deviant has gone a little stale. I was thinking for a while about deleting this old page and starting a fresh with a brand new deviant art. I think this place reminds me of "old times" when I used to write about such black things, and when I couldn't take a decent picture of myself or anything else, back to times of webcam shots and extremely bad photoshopping. I've decided against it, looking through the old photographs, some of these pictures no long exist on any long forgotten hard drive or photobucket account, and my poetry is none existent these days. I think I need this account to remind me how far I have come, how I have grown up. Whether it be how I look compared to two years ago, or how I write and converse I think I need it a little.
A little update - As of September 4th 2007 I have been with the most amazing boy you could ever meet, my wifey Jake [link] . He is so wonderful to me you just can't imagine, and there are so many aspects we don't have in common but I don't believe in all this nonsense that to make something work you need to have all your hobbies intermingle and be on the same intellectual level and have similar life goals. All this is untrue and I have found this of all my relationships to be the one in which we meet in the middle on most things, some we hate and disagree over but neither stifles the others creativity or opinion. I think that is what is most important - feeding one another's passions.
So for now I am happy and settled with him, grounded. We are currently living in my home town in the UK and are moving into our first owned home hopefully in the next month of so. We will be living in a little two up two down house, very well decorated and shared with our friend Gillian. The house has potential as a family home, not helping with my obsession over family and the prospect of one. So it shall be myself, Jake, Gillian and our two white kittens; Milky-Jo (mine) and Hitcher (Jake's).
My baby obsession is driven by the new arrival of my Godson Connor, weighing in at 7lbs 5oz, he was born on Wednesday 23rd April 2008 and is the sweetest little thing I have ever seen. His mammy is a very lucky lady and I can't wait to hold my own little bundle of joy in my arms. Again this obsession with babies and pregnancy is driven and un-helped by another of my friends been pregnant and expecting a little girl sometime in the summer. These two women are so very lucky to have these little angels and I am the broodiest woman alive right now. Seeing a baby gets my stomach churning with longing. Oh well.

Goodbye.

It was brough to my dosile attention that I have not written a journal on here in a long while and my last few seem so very grey an dull. I am so much more of a black and white person, grey areas are not something which suites me.

So I recently was ditched by my bpyfriend of a year+ and whom I loved deeply. However I am refusing for this to be a downer on my life, at such a crucial time in life, I need to stay positive and see the good side to life. I have two amazing friends an they are all I need, as even when my family are being unkindly I can turn to them and smile with them.

I am living for me at the moment, for as it was pointed out to me that I am the only person that will be here from birth till death...surely I am the most important person in my life. And shall remain that way. I don't see why some boy should become that important again, at least not easily.

I have new hair...a new life...and I've kicked that worthless pieca shit into next Sunday.
I hate that I gave him my world and I got a glance in return!

poetry will be posted soon for all those wondering...I've been working on some real gems lately.

love to you all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx